Courage
by GiLLiAn AnDeRsOn
Summary: Scully tries to work up the courage to tell Mulder how she feels about him. And Mulder, as usual, is full of surprises.


DISCLAIMER: All characters are the products of Chris Carter.  
They also belong to Ten-Thirteen Productions and the Fox  
Network. No copyright infringement intended.  
  
TITLE: Courage  
AUTHOR: Stephanie  
RATING: PG  
CATEGORY: MSR, V  
SPOILERS: None really.  
SUMMARY: Scully tries to work up the courage to tell  
Mulder how she feels about him. And Mulder, as usual,  
is full of surprises.  
AUTHORS NOTES: This story was inspired by Celine  
Dion's song, 'I Love You' off her 'Falling Into You' CD.  
Courage  
  
I love him. I really, really love him. Not the type of love  
you feel for a friend, or the sort of affection you're expected  
to feel for someone you've worked closely with for over six  
years. I'm talking about the real thing. That all encompassing  
emotion where the object of your affection occupies your  
every thought. When you think ahead to the future, it always  
revolves around him.When seeing his face becomes the  
highlight of your day. When you know his scent so well, you  
could pick him out of a crowd. When you know his thoughts  
so well, you know what he's going to say even before he does.   
When you......  
  
Oh great.   
  
I'm talking about myself in the second person again. And I  
don't need a shrink to tell me why.  
  
I'm afraid.  
  
I'm afraid of what I feel for him. The force of it. I've never  
felt this way about another person before. I've always been  
so independent. Never needed anyone. And now the very  
thought of ever having to live without him scares me to death.   
  
When did this happen?!  
  
How could I have fallen so deeply in love and not even noticed?  
I can't pinpoint exactly when it happened, but when I look back,   
I can't remember a single moment when I haven't loved him. I  
don't know why this is just dawning on me now. On a Sunday  
morning in May, while I sit at my kitchen table drinking a  
cup of French Vanilla coffee. And now that I know, what  
am I supposed to do about it? I can't very well drive over   
to his place and tell him. That would be a completely  
idiotic thing to do.  
  
Wouldn't it?  
  
Oh God, I should tell him. I want to tell him, I need to tell him!  
I should've told him already. If I could be granted one wish, it   
would be to travel back in time to the very first day I saw him.  
Sitting there in his dark basement office, reading glasses perched  
atop his nose. God, he was gorgeous! It really was love at first  
sight, although I certainly didn't know that at the time. I wonder  
what I would've done if I had of known? I probably wouldn't  
have done anything about it right away, but I sure as hell wouldn't  
have waited six years to act on it.  
  
And yet, here I am.  
  
Well, that's it! I'm done waiting. I'm going to drive over there right  
now and lay it all out. And if he doesn't feel the same way about  
me, then so be it. We can still be friends.  
  
Right?  
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
May 18th  
Fox Mulder's Apartment  
10:15am  
  
I'm writing a love letter. An actual, honest to goodness love letter.  
I haven't written one since the eighth grade. They never had the  
desired affect then, so I have no idea why I think it'll work now.  
But I have to do it because there's no way in hell I'll ever be able  
to get the words out.  
  
Why I decided that today was the day I was going to tell Scully I  
love her is beyond me. I woke up this morning, got dressed,  
turned on the coffee machine, and reached for two cups. That's  
when it dawned on me. I only needed one cup. Scully wasn't there,  
she didn't need a cup.  
  
I wanted Scully to need a cup more than I'd ever wanted anything  
before in my entire life.  
  
So here I am, pen in hand. It's not much of a letter, straight forward   
and to the point. Now, all I have to do is deliver it. I had considered  
mailing it, but I knew that if by some chance it got lost in the mail  
I'd never be able to get up the courage to write it again. So I'll  
just drive over there, slip it under the door and leave. That sounds  
simple enough.  
  
I fold up the letter, stick it in my pocket and head towards the door.  
I swing it open, and almost run straight into Scully who's standing  
there with a fearful expression on her face.  
  
Oh God. She knows. How could she possibly know?!  
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
Alright, I'm here. I'm standing in front of his apartment door,   
staring at the number 42 as if it holds all the answers to all  
the questions I'm trying to work up the courage to ask.  
  
"Do you love me, Mulder?"  
  
There. I said it. The door may still be closed, but that doesn't  
mean it didn't count. I promised myslef I would come here,  
ask him if he loved me, and when I got the negative reply I  
was expecting, I would leave. The only reply I got was silence,  
so I'll just take that as a 'no' and I'll be on my way.  
  
Just as I'm about to turn and leave, the door swings open. The  
look he gives me is priceless. It's almost as if he was on his way  
over to my place to tell me the exact same thing I came here to  
tell him. Now, what are the odds of that happening?  
  
The silence between us drags on until I can't stand it any longer.  
I'm just about to say something light to ease the mood, when   
without a word he hands me a letter. I take it from him, and look  
up at him questioningly. He just nods for me to read it. He's   
shaking.  
  
This can't be good.  
  
He keeps shifting his weight from foot to foot as he nervously  
looks down at the floor. I'd laugh if I weren't so nervous myself.  
I cautiously look down at the piece of paper in my hand and  
notice that there's something written on the front of it.  
  
"I hope this finds the way into your heart......"  
  
I quickly unfold the letter to see what's inside. It read:  
  
"I love you.  
Please say you love me too.  
These three words, they could change our lives forever.  
And I promise you that we will always be together.  
Till the end of time."  
  
I look up at Mulder with tears in my eyes. He's still looking  
down at the floor. I move towards him and place my hands   
in his. He's looking into my eyes now, love reflected in their  
hazel depths. I take a deep breath, and say the words we've  
both waited too long to say.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
There. That wasn't as hard as I thought. In fact, I think I'll  
say it again. And again, and again, and again for the rest  
of our lives.  
  
THE END. 


End file.
